A Love Lost

By John Ambrose

Photo: NASA/JPL; Dawn spacecraft; target: Vesta; enhanced

Just look at it. It is spacious and exotic; magnificent in its stark beauty standing out brightly in the darkness of space. Would you like an asteroid to call your own? A place where you are master of your domain; where no one raises a voice against you; there is no one to oppose. You are king in your small world... but... you are quite alone.

There is no one to raise a voice, no one to oppose you, no one to object. But you are master of an isolated world, a world you have created in your inmost being; a world of seclusion and withdrawal from all who would stand in opposition to your point of view. You have judged them folly, irrational, uniformed and steeped in error. You will have no part.

You stand separate and aloof. You are superior after all. You will not deign to intermingle with them. You will not give second thought to their prattling. You are unconcerned with their errant path; let it take them where it will. You have no time for them. Your time after all is best spent elsewhere on more productive pursuits. Things that matter.

You have created a world with everything just as you wanted it; just as you thought best; one that you could not have designed better... or so you thought. But oh there is still something lacking. It is very lonely here; no one to interact with; no one to say hello; no one to share a word of greeting; no one to smile or show you the least concern.

What a world you have made. It is stark and desolate; devoid of intimacy; devoid of love; a solitary, lonely place; a bleak world. But oh you say, If only someone could fill the void in my heart so I could sense love for just a moment, I would be so grateful. My joy would overflow. I would once again feel that which is long past. I would feel love.

But in all of my life I have only sought self; I have turned my back on the needs of others; I have been totally self-absorbed in my own pursuits. And though I knew in my heart that God was real; that his creation was before me; the heavens and the earth being the work of his hands; I turned my back on Him and the way he would have me go.

Now others are not in my world. Nor is God here. Oh how lonely it is here... how stark and lonely. How I have sealed myself in to a world without love, I have turned my back on the God of love. When all of my life I could have embraced Him and said, "Thy will be done", now in this final chapter of my self-imposed hell, He has said to me, "thy will be done".

Other writings are available here